I'm sorry, please hear me out

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I'm sorry, please hear me out

Postby brookie » Sat Dec 23, 2017 9:20 pm

Hey everyone, so this is going to be a really long post, but I encourage everyone to please read it if we knew each other at all.

Let me start out by saying thank you for 6+ years of fun and entertainment. I really do love this server it has impacted my life a lot. I started playing on this server during a difficult time in my life, and I'll go more in depth in a minute. The point of this post is to tell everyone that my real name is not Brookie, I am not a female. I know some of you will be like "woah what? huh? wtf? why would you lie? etc", but that is the only lie I've ever actually told, everything else about me is accurate. At least everything that wouldn't reveal me of course.

How it all started. I joined Icecraft in August of 2011 after 2 friends suggested the server after watching a youtube video. Icecraft was my very first server, so you can guess that I didn't know what the fuck I was doing. I was on cracked, and joined under the name of decalo. We set up a nice little cave, and began my icecraft journey. However, that journey ended very fast when I found out you can't just take blocks from other people's houses. Honest mistake really. So I was perm banned, and later unbanned, then banned again for xray, later unbanned. But during my xray ban, I did what all idiots do, and ban evaded. I couldn't join under an obvious name right? So I chose brookie, the name of my dog that I still have. I began playing under my new name, not pretending to be a girl at all. Of course my ignorant younger self wasn't able to realize that brookie is a girl name, and that is what people will assume. So I started playing and making friends, then all of a sudden everyone started using "she", which was odd to me, but I thought I better roll with it due to the ban on my actual account. Well fast forward a few weeks and I'm already reg under the name brookie. Well, once that happened there was no going back. I accepted the role of brookie since I was already a rank that was able to fly, when all of my friends were still users. By this time, my actual account is unbanned, but it's too late to care. To save time, I'll just summarize the rest of my journey. I ranked up of course, I met some amazing people, I learned a lot about minecraft and about life, and I dedicated an extreme amount of time to a server that I wasn't being my true self on, because I was lying about a pretty major thing.

To the great people I've met thus far on ice (Illusion9, TLG, Mango, Arma, Forsh, Jsk, Dmarto, Husk, Ryan, and so many more, I really hope you all can forgive me and continue to be my friend)

So why did I do it? For the ranks? For the attention? For the hell of it?
No to all of that, I continued it because it was an escape from my reality. When I joined Icecraft as brookie, I was able to ignore everything in my life and become a whole different person. A person with all these friends, all this responsibility, and no one able to make me feel less than. Of course I moved up in the ranks all the way to op, and many of you will say it is because I was playing a female and that I flirted my way to the top. No matter what I say, I know some of you will continue to feel that way, but the reality is, that isn't the case. I ranked up because I was insanely active, helped every chance I got, and dedicated my time to icecraft. I earned a spot on the staff team, and no matter what people say, that will always be the truth.

So why now? Why bother announcing this?
I want to start 2018 fresh. I'm not doing this because I know about the staff all getting demoted or whatever else, I'm doing this for me. I hate holding this in all of these years, and I meant to do this forever ago, but I held on because I never saw a point. I realize now more than ever the people I am hurting by continuing this lie.

So what now?
Well, I'm pleading to TLG to give me a chance, let me continue on ice, let me help out. I realize that TLG more than anyone feels betrayed and probably wants me dead, but I'd really like to continue on ice as me. I realize that might not be the case, so I went ahead and screenshotted as many memories as possible in the event I get perm banned from Ice today. I really hope this isn't the case and that I can still enjoy the nostalgia and the community into 2018, but I had to prepare for the worst. I have never done anything to harm Icecraft, and never will.

Ways to contact me in case you want to keep in touch in the event of the worst:
Kik (just downloaded for this): AeroLang
Skype: decalo11
Forum messenger on here
Might add more options later if needed

To Illusion9/Alex: I'm sorry if this upsets you, I realize it probably will. We started off rough when I first began ice, and then after it all began to die we became close. At one point we were chatting every single day. I think you are a really interesting person, and I really hope we can continue being friends. You are one of the biggest reasons I didn't want to do this because I didn't want to lose you as a friend. I hope we can continue our cartoon conversations :'/

To TLG/Dylon: I don't even know where to begin this, you were my closest friend on ice. You're funny, you're interesting, you're entertaining, and you deserve way better. Please do not totally hate me, and consider giving me a chance. We've been friends forever on ice, and I've shared so much with you. You as well, are one of the biggest reasons I didn't want to do this, I don't want to hurt you. I also don't want to continue lying to you. I'm hoping that since we haven't spoken much recently that this won't hurt you as much as it would've a few years ago probably. Again, I'm sorry TLG.

To everyone else that I have become friends with on Ice: I'm sorry, I hope this doesn't affect anything in the future, and please keep in touch with me I'd love to continue being friends.

So who is that girl in my picture, and more about the actual me:
So the girl in the picture I posted 6 years ago in the "Show Yourself" forum is actually my ex girlfriend from like 7th grade. She's crazy now.
So about me, I am 20 years old now (crazy to think since I joined Ice at 14...), I am a junior in college with a major in Speech and Hearing Sciences and a minor in American Sign Language. My interests include xBox, Bowling, Golf, College, Netflix, and much more. I'm not very active on my computer any more due to everything with life such as my job. I work as a gas station attendant at a grocery store.

My suggestions for the server in case I'm "shown the door":
Please remember Icecraft's roots, this is a survival server. No matter how many people beg for all the free items imaginable, just try to remember that Ice was and shouldn't ever be, that kind of server.
I know everyone wants all of this extra stuff like mini games. But please limit it, because I really hate for ice to become just another dumb mini game server.
Please be nicer to staff that have dedicated years to this server. I realize my time as staff will more than likely end forever after TLG, PBD, and Aevion read this, and I'm not making this point for me. Please stop being mean to staff that have put in so much time for this server. This is a completely 100% volunteer "job" meaning we aren't paid at all. If you start "requiring hours" you'll find yourself needing new staff constantly. If someone is still semi active since pre 2015, they deserve to continue being their rank.
Along with that, please do not just promote anyone that happens to help you during a remodel and then doesn't actually care about the server. This has always extremely annoyed me. Someone who has been loyal and helpful for years should have first pick over a random person that helps for a week.
Please actively fix plugins that break, it's really inconsistent on this server with that.
And finally, a better tutorial for new players is crucial for this server. People join immediately screaming "where do I build, what do I do, how do I get stuff?". That really should be fixed.



To finally end this extremely long post. I am very sorry to everyone that I have hurt. I hope that Ice gives me another chance, however if they don't, I understand. Please contact me on one of the listed methods above if you'd like to chat, be friends, have questions, or whatever. Please do not delete this post, I really want everyone to see this. I know it is tempting to delete me and all of my posts and ban me. But I am begging that you please leave this, I promise if I am not wanted that I will leave forever. But please do me one favor and leave this post for all of my friends and old friends to see.

Merry Christmas everyone, happy holidays, and I hope the very best for this server.
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Re: I'm sorry, please hear me out

Postby PrettyBlueDemon » Sun Dec 24, 2017 4:52 am

Wow Brookie how to reply… Kind of still in shock
I don’t know what happened with you and Dylon.. that’s between the both of you, and I’m sure he’ll address this as well.. I know that you don’t like me like.. at all.. kind of like the hate of 1000 fiery suns.. but I honestly never had an issue with you, if I acted in bad taste at time’s I’m sorry it came across like that, it was never on purpose.

I more then anyone get the need to escape.. both the boys have probably heard me talking about throwing it all to hell and going and living on a remote island in the middle of bloody no where lol

The issue you mentioned about being mean to staff, if we’ve ever been mean to staff I can’t remember it and if I have then I’m extremely sorry for that, the full demotion isn’t because we think the staff don’t deserve it or anything even remotely close to that, it took us a lot to make that decision.. it’s purely to clean up long inactive staff and to give new people the chance to be able to help the server as well, we did say that in the meeting but half the meeting was voice and a small part text so I see how that would have been misunderstood. We were all hoping you would have attended the meeting to be able to explain it to you properly rather then you hearing it 2nd hand.
We would all like to see you reapply for staff, as yourself this time, we all had the chance to meet Brookie and I think we’d all like to get to know the real you.

2018 we want to be about fresh starts and new beginnings. I also like 2018 to be a new beginning for us, whatever has been the issue has been going on about 5 years too long.
I stopped fighting my inner demons. We're on the same side now
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Re: I'm sorry, please hear me out

Postby TheLonelyGod » Sun Dec 24, 2017 5:21 am

Nobody has plans to ban you despite this announcement you are still a part of this community, however, everyone will be receiving a demotion with the upcoming changes, regardless of gender or history.

You are welcome to play on our server still, we thank you for being clear with us.
<illusion9> I'm batman
<illusion9> have you ever seen me in the same room with him?

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Re: I'm sorry, please hear me out

Postby brookie » Sun Dec 24, 2017 8:39 am

PrettyBlueDemon wrote:I know that you don’t like me like.. at all.. kind of like the hate of 1000 fiery suns.. but I honestly never had an issue with you, if I acted in bad taste at time’s I’m sorry it came across like that, it was never on purpose.

The comment about 1000 fiery suns had me cracking up. The truth is, we got off on the wrong foot and I didn't move on from that point. I don't like change, and my first impression from you was dictatorship and forcing change. And I hate change. Which of course is unfair of me and I'm sorry we started off that way. I really think we can make up from that and be friends. I felt like you personally hated me, which caused me to hate you, and I'm sorry.

PrettyBlueDemon wrote:I more then anyone get the need to escape.. both the boys have probably heard me talking about throwing it all to hell and going and living on a remote island in the middle of bloody no where lol

This is exactly me. Especially during my beginning on ice. With how my life was, Ice was a complete escape from reality where I could be someone else and not be sad anymore.

PrettyBlueDemon wrote:The issue you mentioned about being mean to staff, if we’ve ever been mean to staff I can’t remember it and if I have then I’m extremely sorry for that, the full demotion isn’t because we think the staff don’t deserve it or anything even remotely close to that,

It's okay, I know it wasn't intentional, but I know a lot of people have felt under appreciated in the past. I'm not completely against the full demotion thing, I just feel like it is unfair for the vets who are still around. Maybe a compromise would be a staffvet rank or something. Idk, that's up to y'all, just a thought.
PrettyBlueDemon wrote:it took us a lot to make that decision.. it’s purely to clean up long inactive staff and to give new people the chance to be able to help the server as well, we did say that in the meeting but half the meeting was voice and a small part text so I see how that would have been misunderstood. We were all hoping you would have attended the meeting to be able to explain it to you properly rather then you hearing it 2nd hand.

I wish I could've attended as well, however even if I would have come forward sooner and tried to attend, I wasn't about to get up in the middle of the night for a meeting lol. Time zones are extremely difficult.
PrettyBlueDemon wrote:We would all like to see you reapply for staff, as yourself this time, we all had the chance to meet Brookie and I think we’d all like to get to know the real you.

This sentence almost made me cry. Because this was very difficult to have to do. I will certainly try, but I understand if I'm not accepted.

PrettyBlueDemon wrote:2018 we want to be about fresh starts and new beginnings. I also like 2018 to be a new beginning for us, whatever has been the issue has been going on about 5 years too long.

I 100% agree with you. Thank you for writing back this extremely kind response.
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Re: I'm sorry, please hear me out

Postby brookie » Sun Dec 24, 2017 8:41 am

TheLonelyGod wrote:Nobody has plans to ban you despite this announcement you are still a part of this community, however, everyone will be receiving a demotion with the upcoming changes, regardless of gender or history.

You are welcome to play on our server still, we thank you for being clear with us.

Thank you TLG. I will try and get in contact with you ASAP so we can discuss a few things regarding the server etc.
Thank you for the response.
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Re: I'm sorry, please hear me out

Postby dmarto » Fri Dec 29, 2017 3:09 am

Hey Brooks,
I have not been around for a loooong time, but decided I can at least find the time to write a replay.
I felt very honored that you remember me and even mentioned me in your post :)

Likewise IceCraft was my first (and last) server and I have met amazing people thanks to it.

And I will forever remember all my time within the IceCraftian realm and be grateful to the people of it, hell maybe one day I may find my way back to it :)

I wanted to find and attach few screen shots from the times and adventures we had in IRC and in-game, but sadly I don't have access to them currently - but know that I remember every single one and will save & cherish them forever.

In summary - I don't care about your gender or name, you were/are a good and nice person and that is what matters in my book. But sadly, as my book is read-only (Alex has promised to buy me a new one) you will always be Brookie to me, soo happy new nickname for RL if we ever have the chance to meet.

Happy holidays!

P.S. I am not good at writing long posts, I like to ramble a lot and can't stay at/in topic - so sorry for that.
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I'm sorry, please hear me out

Postby brookie » Fri Dec 29, 2017 7:36 am

dmarto wrote:Hey Brooks,
I have not been around for a loooong time, but decided I can at least find the time to write a reply.
I felt very honored that you remember me and even mentioned me in your post :)

Of course I mentioned you!

dmarto wrote:Likewise IceCraft was my first (and last) server and I have met amazing people thanks to it.

And I will forever remember all my time within the IceCraftian realm and be grateful to the people of it, hell maybe one day I may find my way back to it :)

I hope so! I mean, you won't be staff any more sadly, but you can still come mess around with me on ice!

dmarto wrote:I wanted to find and attach few screen shots from the times and adventures we had in IRC and in-game, but sadly I don't have access to them currently - but know that I remember every single one and will save & cherish them forever.

Awww, I miss our long talks on IRC and our fun in game! Like I've told multiple people, I'm still the same annoying person as I've always been, my personality wasn't faked.

dmarto wrote:In summary - I don't care about your gender or name, you were/are a good and nice person and that is what matters in my book. But sadly, as my book is read-only (Alex has promised to buy me a new one) you will always be Brookie to me, soo happy new nickname for RL if we ever have the chance to meet.

Hahaha, I've pretty much accepted that even after all of this, I'll be stuck with the name lol. Thank you :lol:

Also, I don't know how we would ever have the chance to meet, but I really hope that happens one day haha!
dmarto wrote:Happy holidays!

P.S. I am not good at writing long posts, I like to ramble a lot and can't stay at/in topic - so sorry for that.

Happy holidays!! That is my problem as well lol. Took me forever to write my first post. Come visit with me soon!
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Re: I'm sorry, please hear me out

Postby Elemental_Drum » Fri Dec 29, 2017 5:30 pm

*grabs popcorn*
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